This morning I had decided to return to my blog of a couple of years ago, that dealt with the tragedies of the workplace. I am dealing with the tragedy of my workplace, a library. I realized today that I can no longer say, "I hate work, but I love my job", or other such nonsense. I would love my job if I was empowered to do the best I can do. I once felt that, in spite of the ridiculous obstacles inflicted by bureaucracy, and regardless of draconian budget cutting problems, I could make a difference. Today I went to work feeling overwhelmed and defeated. I decided that I needed to accept the fact that my little library would continue to decline, and I was beginning to do myself harm by continuing to try to prevent the damage.
Today books are being taken off the shelves and deleted from our inventory by virtue of a directorial dictate. It is a dictate, I believe, I hope, that is being addressed with some flexibility in branches with managers who actually care about their collections and the needs of their communities.
I have guarded our collection for as long as I have worked there, and for the most part, I have been left alone to do so. I have brought to the task, not a Library Science degree, but more knowledge and understanding of libraries and books than an MLS could ever provide.
No one asks for my input, in fact, I usually learn about changes, new policies and such by accident. And now I am helpless when books that should stay on our shelves are removed. And it is so painful.
And when I came home and was faced with continuing my old blog, and getting serious about issues dealing with jobs, I couldn't do it. I'm not ready yet. But I will.
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